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Tag Archives: love of Christ

Real Wedding: Aylin & Ethan

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Catherine Parks

I defy anyone with a heart to watch this video and not cry. This is one of the most humble, Christ-exalting things I have ever seen. I do not know this couple personally, but they graciously agreed to share their video and story with me for the blog and book. Here are the bride’s words about their wedding:

We wanted it to be very clear that our marriage was built on His grace and His alone. Both of us are pastor’s kids, with desires to serve the Lord in ministry. People kept saying, “You deserve this marriage.” “Look how God has blessed you for having waited to well in His time.” We both knew the many struggles we had with our sin during our singleness. We wanted it to be very clear that if the Lord blessed our marriage it was all because of Him, not because of anything in us. So, we had a time of public confession of sins, and then we nailed those sins to a Calvary tree “sculpture” that we prepared. As we nailed the list, our pastor read Col. 2: 16. Then we sang The Power of the Cross.

Please, take a few minutes and rejoice in the power of the cross and the great love of our Savior.

Aylin + Ethan from Studio 16×9 on Vimeo.

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Why I Rarely Blog About Weddings (on a blog called “Don’t Waste Your Wedding”)

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Catherine Parks

Someone commented on a link to this blog from Facebook that I should start a new blog so they don’t have to go to a wedding blog to read my posts about non-wedding topics. It’s true–I’ve been writing a lot about things other than weddings. For a while I thought maybe I was just a little burned out on weddings. Once the book was finished I was excited to think about anything else. And as things come up and are on my heart, it’s natural to write about them.

But the more I thought about it, I realized the real reason I have a hard time blogging about weddings. Yes, I know. It’s a wedding blog. Clearly this is a problem. But I think it makes sense, and hopefully it will translate as I write about it here.

The nature of wedding blogs and books in general is to give couples ideas. This can be super helpful. You see something creative or unique, you “pin it,” implement it in your wedding planning and move on. I’m always impressed with wedding bloggers who build a substantial following. In my mind, it’s a marketing nightmare. You have readers who come to look at pretty pictures, get ideas, and then leave. Once the wedding is over, who cares about the wedding blog?

But in writing this book, my mom and I both felt strongly that we didn’t want it to be about “tips” for planning a Christian wedding. And the reasons for this are:

1. We could try to give a “Gospel-Centered Wedding Checklist.” Couples could follow it, checking off each task as they planned. But this would not guarantee what really matters. Because what really matters is the heart–a heart changed by the love of Christ and the grace of our great Father.

2. A true understanding of grace and the freedom of the gospel should lead to a gospel-centered wedding. But I had neither a true understanding nor a truly gospel-centered wedding. And so the book is far less about tips and ideas, and far more about the gospel. Because it has to be in that order. As God opens our eyes to the beauty of Christ’s perfect life, sacrificial death and glorious resurrection, it should change everything. Including our weddings.

3. A photographer friend said she is tired of shooting the same wedding every weekend. Sometimes all these tips and ideas we’re sharing and pinning end up making the rounds at every wedding. So what was maybe unique once is now standard issue. There’s nothing really wrong with this, but I believe God’s work in the lives of a bride and groom is far more interesting and glorious than the details we so easily obsess over. So I’m hesitant to share a lot of practical tips out of concern that we might create some sort of “gospel-centered wedding” culture that limits the freedom couples should have to express God’s grace in their own way.

So for these reasons, there aren’t a lot of tips on the blog. And to be honest, I have a hard time coming up with things to blog about that aren’t just practical. I know the practical stuff is helpful; I’m just hesitant for it to become law.

That being said, I’m hoping to post more regularly and more often about weddings.

But I’m always trying to balance the freedom of the gospel with the practical ideas people might want to read. And if a week (or two) go by without wedding posts, I apologize. I guess I’m still figuring out what this blog is.

Thanks for reading it, whatever it is.

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Fuel for the Body

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Catherine Parks

'Letters (0108)' photo (c) 2012, Jason Dean - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
Sunday after our church service my husband and I were talking to our friend Kyle about the importance and power of testimonies, and since then I’ve been thinking a lot on this topic.

When we have baptism services in our church body, each person being baptized first reads their testimony before the congregation. These services have become something I eagerly anticipate and I always go with tissues in hand. Standing in the waters of baptism, proclaiming the grace of God and His power to save has brought grown men to cry, so I of course have no chance at all. I cry at commercials. And even though I’ve seen Toy Story 3 twenty or thirty times, I still have to leave the room at the end so I don’t weep. But I digress.

Anyway, my pastor is always quick to point out that the same gospel power that frees the former drug-addicted stripper frees the former AWANA jewel-winning, legalistic teenager. And it’s breathtaking every time.

Sharing the story of how God “redeemed your life from the pit” is not just for the teller or for the unbeliever in the congregation–it’s also the fuel that encourages the church on its mission. When I hear how God used a college roommate or a neighbor or a parent to draw to Himself an unrepentant sinner, I am encouraged to go out and proclaim the good news. When we see the dots connected of how many people–maybe 1, maybe 30–shared the gospel with an unbeliever before they were drawn to repentance, I am reminded of God’s sovereignty and am therefore freed to proclaim without worrying about the results.

I love that one of the questions my husband asks when we have friends in our home is, “How did you become a Christian?” I imagine this was the first question the early church members asked one another. It’s so miraculous. How did God do it in your life?

So the purpose of this post is two-fold:

1. I think we should be asking friends and family members and strangers, “How did you become a Christian?” And then we can rejoice together, praising God for His grace. In turn, we can share our own stories, knowing the same Savior who died for my sins of pride and selfishness and self-righteousness, died for your sins as well.

2. Bringing it back to the wedding, I firmly believe this is a perfect opportunity to praise God by sharing your stories of how He saved you both. Whether it’s through a video, or through your pastor sharing it in his message during the ceremony, or through a message in your programs–think and pray about how you might proclaim His excellencies through sharing what He has done in your lives. This has multiple benefits: He will be praised, you will be grateful, unbelievers will hear the gospel and believers will be filled with encouragement to make disciples.

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What is Love? – A Short Video

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Catherine Parks

I’m not posting much on the blog these days as I’m in the middle of a week of book-writing, but I ran across this video this morning and wanted to share it.

Tim Challies posted it on his blog with the following comment:

“Whenever I do pre-marriage counseling I tell the groom-to-be, ‘I know you’d die for her, but are you willing to live for her?’ This is what it looks like to live for her.”

Cue the tears.

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Would You Forget Your Dress?

Posted on November 19, 2012 by Catherine Parks

'Honeymoonscape' photo (c) 2010, JD Hancock - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

I am currently in Kansas visiting with family, so blogging will be spotty this week, but last night I had some time to myself (what?!) and started reading Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick and wanted to share a brief thought. The premise of the book is Christians need the gospel–we never move past it. Christ not only saves us, but transforms us. Here is a great section from the second chapter:

The gospel message–you have been cleansed from sin–is the pinnacle of God’s loving work in the world, and just as it is this work that saves us, it is also this work that transforms and sustains us. The gospel is the message that must remain paramount throughout all our life.  [...] Jesus’ death cleanses us from sin, but it also guarantees our ultimate transformation into his image. This transformation occurs, Paul writes, while we gaze upon him, think about him, and muse on him as he has revealed himself to us in the gospel. “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another” (2 Cor. 3:18). Behold his glory in the gospel and be transformed.

A few days ago I received an email from Gloria, whose blog I have mentioned before. She was reading Jeremiah and passed this verse on to me:

Can a virgin forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? Yet my people have forgotten me days without number. Jer 2:22

I love this picture. Of course a bride does not forget such things, yet we are so tempted to move past Christ’s work and forget Him, moving on to the important work of everyday life.

May our everyday life (from planning weddings to making PB&J for toddlers) be characterized by a remembrance of and deep love for Christ and His work.

P.S.  If you’re curious about the book and the writing process, my new friend Trillia has graciously featured me in her series on new female authors. Check it out here and be sure to read this post about Trillia’s upcoming, much-needed book.

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A Celebration of Love?

Posted on November 1, 2012 by Catherine Parks

'Love, amor, aimer, amore' photo (c) 2010, Camdiluv ♥ - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

In the next couple of weeks I plan to start focusing on individual elements of weddings and the planning process, but today I want to continue to lay the foundation for what a Christ-centered, gospel-rich wedding actually is.

I think sometimes we can go too far in the direction of deflecting attention from ourselves that we actually think it’s wrong to celebrate human love. That is not the point we hope to make in this book, and certainly not what I want readers to take away from the blog. Our Creator graciously gave us human love, and it is a reflection of His great love for us.

So how do we balance this? How do we celebrate the work of Christ in humility? How do we focus on the love of God while also celebrating the human love He has given us?

I love the way this balance is expressed in the following prayer by Tim Challies from a wedding he performed. Tim graciously gave us a couple of his wedding ceremony notes to use for our book.

Our Father in Heaven, In your perfect will and in your perfect timing you have brought us here today. You have brought us here together to celebrate the marriage of Jason and Leah.* We are looking forward to using the rest of this day to rejoice in what you are doing and what you have done. And it is our prayer that as you bring them together, as we delight in their love for one another, that we will make much of you. Even while this day is about them, about celebrating their union in marriage, let us make it first and foremost a day in which we celebrate who you are and what you have done. In the name of Christ I pray. Amen.

This is so beautifully said. May we make much of the loving Father as we rejoice and celebrate together.

I’m excited to witness a wedding this weekend that I know will have this focus and heart. There is nothing quite like seeing two people testify to God’s goodness and grace as they come together and are made one by God, for His glory.

*Names have been changed

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The Scent of Your Wedding

Posted on October 30, 2012 by Catherine Parks

'Smell' photo (c) 2009, Dennis Wong - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

2 Corinthians 2:14 and 15 says, “But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us into triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.”

Working from this passage, Scotty Smith, former pastor of Christ Community Church in Franklin, TN, wrote the following prayer for the edification of believers:

Thank you for triumphing over me and in me. I’m also grateful to be among those released for a life of announcing your triumph of mercy and grace. What more could I want for the rest of my life than to be someone through whom the fragrance of the gospel is released—the aroma of forgiveness and freedom; the kingdom cologne of reconciliation and restoration; the fragrant bouquet of healing and freedom? What an honor and privilege.

This is the reason my mom and I are writing this book–that the gospel would be proclaimed in our weddings and marriages. May His fragrance and aroma be evident so that no matter your wedding style, your wedding scent is of Christ.

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The Anti-Bridezilla

Posted on October 26, 2012 by Catherine Parks

'boxing gloves' photo (c) 2008, Generation Bass - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/Thanks to all who have responded to my request for help with mother/daughter issues for the book! I have loved reading the responses via email, comment, Facebook, etc. It is such a tricky situation, especially since there are so many reasons conflict arises. Obviously we can’t touch on all of them in the book, but we can look at the one issue that causes all the others–our hearts.

Most of us are probably familiar with the Bridezilla concept–a bride on a rampage, willing to destroy anything standing in her way en route to the perfect wedding. While that kind of self-focus will certainly cause huge interpersonal problems during this time, even a much smaller degree of selfishness can subtly creep in and become a joy thief. What seems at the outset a harmless desire to express one’s personality can, in the absence of gospel-centered motives, gradually turn into non-compromising selfishness.

Once again, the gospel is crucial here. As Tullian Tchivijian puts it so well:

The gospel doesn’t take you deeper into yourself; the gospel takes you away from yourself. That’s why Paul reminds the Colossians (and us), “You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (3:3). The gospel frees us to realize that, while we matter, we are not the point.

This perspective is revolutionary because the gospel is revolutionary. The world says, “It’s your day,” but the gospel says, “This day belongs to Christ–the true Bridegroom.” The world says, “Please yourself because you can’t satisfy everyone.” The gospel says, “Honor Christ because you can’t satisfy anyone.”

I am thankful today for that kind of freedom. I can strive to honor Christ by believing He is best and everything else pales in comparison.

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Oh, How He Loves!

Posted on October 17, 2012 by Catherine Parks

'my wedding dress' photo (c) 2008, Katherine Fries - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/My favorite thing about writing this book has been seeing the love of Christ as displayed in the symbolism of weddings. We see Him as the bridegroom who leaves his home and goes to seek out his bride to be joined with her. We see in a wedding our own relationship with Christ as we are given new bright clothes to wear and presented to God as righteous.

In meditating on these things I am increasingly awed by His love, and increasingly convicted that I do not speak of that love to others as frequently as I speak of more trivial subjects. In the same way this is often true of our weddings. We speak of our selves and represent ourselves, but how trivial we seem in light of Christ’s love and work. It is so refreshing to witness weddings that proclaim the love of Christ, rather than only our limited human love.

On this topic, I love the following quotes by Charles Spurgeon from a sermon entitled, “Oh, How He Loves!”

If we were in a right state of mind and heart, we should often say to one another, “How wondrous has the love of Jesus been to us!” Our conversation with one another, as brethren and sisters in Christ, would often be upon this blessed subject. We waste far too much of our time upon trifles; it would be well if the love of Jesus so engrossed our thoughts that it engrossed our conversation too. [...] Such talk as that between the saints on earth would help us to anticipate the time when we shall want no other theme for conversation in the land beyond the river.

O glorious Bridegroom of our hearts, there never was any other love like thine! That the eternal Son of God should leave his Father’s side, and stoop so low as to become one with his chosen people, so that Paul could truly write, “We are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones,” is such a wonder of condescending grace and mercy that we can only exclaim again and again, “Behold how he loved us!”

May our weddings and our lives proclaim this message!

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