As I write this book I continue to realize how tempting it is to just fill it with my opinions. But that is not the point of the book, and I pray and strive to make it not about me or what I think. At the same time, I cannot just shrug off my own thoughts without examining them to see why I think a certain way.
The beauty is I’m learning this applies to all areas of life–generally I think a certain way for one of two reasons: 1. It happens to be what I believe fits with a gospel-centered perspective and goal, or 2. It’s just my personal preference based on my own tastes (much of the time from selfishness).
I want my motivation in writing this book to always be Reason #1.
Over the next week or two I will be posting a bit about the bouquet and garter toss traditions, but first I would like to do a quick survey to see what YOU think–did you do one? Do you think they’re a good idea? Do they have any negative connotations for you?
I would be so grateful if you would take a quick minute to answer the question below.
AND, please leave comment or shoot me an email (catherinestrodeparks(at)gmail(dot)com) if you have more thoughts! Thanks so much.
Hi Catherine, you probably don’t remember me but I used to babysit for your parents a very long time ago. You and you brother were always such sweet children and a delight to care for.
Anyway, I love the concept for this book. I opted for a semi non-traditional wedding and we did not do the garter toss. I find it trashy. If you can find a way to make a garter seek and find and toss God honoring, sweet, innocent, and pure, I’d love to hear about it!
Vicki, thanks for much for reading and commenting! Yes, I do remember you and was telling my husband I loved pretending my name was Vicki :). Thanks for your thoughts!
I did both. Having attended quite a few weddings since then, I decided I don’t like either. Tossing the bouquet at a bunch of single women…some who do not want to be standing there … with the idea that the one who catches the bouquet is next to be married ?? is just .. I can’t think of the right word. Not right.
Good thoughts, Melissa, and I tend to agree with you.I have a friend who was pointing out to me that it sometimes depend on your age and the people there. She said her friends were all young and single and it was a fun aspect of the reception, but in other cases you have just a few ladies who are singled out for a much for awkward toss. So I tend to agree with you, but am recognizing that (as with most things) I can’t just say, “This is always a bad idea.” Although I’m pretty opinionated and generally want to say exactly that :).
We did not do the traditional “throw the garter and bouquet”, but we did an alternative. Although, I must admit, it had nothing to do with the gospel. I had a small “throw bouquet” made and bought a garter, but never put it on. That just wasn’t me :) So, we took a poll at the reception for which couple was married the longest, and presented that couple with both the bouquet and garter. There were some guests that were disappointed that I didn’t do the traditional toss, but oh well.
I love the idea of honoring the longevity of marriage–we did something similar and it was one of my favorite things about our wedding. Thanks for the comment!
I know I’m too late for this survey, but thought I’d share my 2 cents’ anyway! My daughter recently became engaged, so my thoughts have turned to wedding things, often drawing me back 25 years to my own wedding…
Shortly before I was married I attended a wedding in which the bride, in lieu of tossing her bouquet, had a special bouquet made which she was able to dismantle and give pieces of to the important women in her life: Her mother, her new mother-in-law, the grandmothers… It was a beautiful sentiment, honouring those women whose legacy she was blessed to have. I forget why I opted not to do this at my own wedding, but I still think it was a beautiful and meaningful alternative to a silly tradition. I also love the idea I read in another of your posts about giving a flower or bouquet to the couple(s) married the longest! What a wonderful way to honour marriage!
I am so glad to have found your blog and have pointed my daughter to it! I’m sure it will encourage her as she plans her wedding!
Thanks for your encouragement, Heather! I love that idea! It’s a beautiful way of honoring several women. I’d love to include it in the book. Thanks so much.